Raising a child with two homosexual parents
Raising a child with two homosexual parents
You and your partner are in a committed, loving relationship and want to add a beautiful little bundle of joy to complete your family. You may have some questions and concerns about raising a child. It’s always best to speak with your partner about every important decision beforehand as to avoid uncomfortable or confrontation situations later.
What difficulties might you face?
The unfortunate reality is that you probably will face varying levels of discrimination, from strangers asking “where’s your mommy?” to people outwardly chastising you for having a child. Although attitudes toward gay and lesbian marriage are changing quickly, there will be some less-accepting people you may encounter along the way. But remember, you know that you are giving your child all the love, dedication, and care they deserve, so the opinion of others does not really matter.
You may also face discrimination from childless, homosexual couples who view not having children as a part of gay culture. They may see you in a different light than before or that you are judging them for not having children. However, just like prejudice heterosexuals, it’s not your job to change their minds. You’re creating a stable, loving family, so their judgements don’t matter.
There is also the inevitability that children at your kid’s school may make fun of him or her. Kids can be cruel, but they will always find something. If your child didn’t have two moms or two dads, maybe they would say that he or she is too smart or too short or too whatever. Yes, having homosexual parents will be an easy target, but teasing in general in unavoidable. What’s more important is to make sure that your child feels like he or she lives in a safe and open environment where these issues can be discussed. Also, it’s important to explain at an early age why people will think his or her family is different, but also explain why it’s not. He or she still has parents that love and care for them just like a heterosexual family.
Talking about sexuailty with your child
Talking about sex with a child is often a stressful topic for parents. When your child inevitably asks you “where do babies come from” or “why don’t I have a mommy and a daddy,” you may panic and not know what to say. It’s important to be honest with your child and explain why he or she has two mommies or daddies in an open and truthful way. Just like his or her friends’ parents, you love each other and wanted to have a family. As for “where babies come from”, do what you feel comfortable with at the time.
Do you want a mother/father figure in your child’s life?
This is a difficult topic for many homosexual parents to deal with because it may lead you to believe that you’re not providing enough for your child. If you do decide to have a close friend or relative of the opposite sex take an important role in your child’s life, then that person is just another member of a loving, caring family who may also provide different support and companionship to your son or daughter. If you choose not to, then rest assured that your child will encounter people from the opposite sex in his or her daily life whether it’s a teacher, doctor, or a friend’s parent.