Having a baby alone

In the old days, being both a mother and a single woman was a disgrace to the whole family. Fortunately, the pattern has evolved. Society has become more tolerant towards single people who want to become mothers. While all women of child-bearing age dream of being able to do so, having a baby on their own is a true warrior’s journey. Before embarking on this adventure, here are a few things that must be considered.

Why would someone have a baby alone?

Having a child alone is not a decision that a woman should take lightly and deserves careful consideration. The desire to have children often arises when a person is old enough to become a mother. Over the years, this desire may become increasingly strong and compel single women to find a solution: having a baby alone. 

While some succeed in finding love and starting a beautiful family, others have difficulties finding the right partner and decide to assume their single life. The infallible marker of our organism, the biological clock, indicates the ideal time to become a mother. This signal keeps growing until the desire to have children becomes very significant and encourages all woman to make a decision.

How to make a baby alone?

Non-medical artificial insemination

There are many different ways to conceive a child when you are alone. The most commonly used technique is non-medical artificial insemination. This method consists in acquiring the sperm by yourself and introducing it without the intervention of a doctor.

Also called home insemination, it requires the mother-to-be to carry out the fertilization at home, with a specially designed syringe. Depending on her preference, the woman can obtain gametes through private sperm banks or seek the help of a friend.

Having a baby through artificial insemination by donor or AID

This method is based on the same principle as the first one, except that a doctor must be involved. In fact, a woman who wants to have a baby undergoes hormonal treatment in order to stimulate her ovaries. After the stimulation, the health care professional introduces the sperm, previously donated, into the vaginal cavity. During fertilization, the doctor uses a catheter specially designed for this purpose. The sperms can be injected into the entrance or the fundus of the uterus in order to increase the chance of success.

What about IVF (in vitro fertilization)?

IVF involves the introduction of an egg into the uterus of the woman who wishes to have a baby. Before reaching this stage, gametes must first be treated in order to achieve fertilization.

The mother-to-be can choose a double donation: the oocyte and sperm coming from the donors of her choice, or a simple sperm donation. Under this method, the woman does not need ovarian stimulation, however, she requires medical follow-up like any other pregnant person.

What are the obstacles to overcome when having a baby alone?

Legislation

Although society has evolved and tolerates the idea of being a single mother, legislation remains restrictive in response to this situation. The difficulty does not particularly lie in being a single mother, but in the ways of conceiving the child.

In fact, most medically assisted reproduction techniques are only permitted to married women. Only legally married women have the right to procreate through IVF or AID. Because of this legislation, having a baby on your own can be very complex and remains legally unpopular.

Trouble in getting access to sperm donation

On French territory, all sperm donations must be made through the Centres d’Étude et de Conservation des Œufs et du sperme (CECOS) (French for Centre for the Study and Conservation of Eggs and Semen). However, these institutions comply with the law previously mentioned.

This makes it very difficult for a single woman to legally obtain sperm. Knowing that the legal framework prohibits most of the effective methods of making a baby on your own, it is important to find efficient ways to do so.

What should be done then?

Unlike French legislation, laws in other European countries give single women a chance to procreate. In order to make their dream of having children come true, mothers-to-be decide to move and carry out their project elsewhere. As the success rate increases if the process is monitored by a doctor, it is enough to change countries in order to get pregnant.

Among the favorite destinations for these single women is Belgium, which welcomes many of them every year. Moreover, this country treats all their patients, married or single, in the same way. Spain is also an alternative and does not slow down single women who want to have children.

If you are worried about not knowing your child’s future father or raising him alone, you can always opt for a co-parenting arrangement. Coparentalys is here to help you get in touch with a suitable co-parent.