The Advantages of Co-Parenting
Co-parenting serves a large number of people who are excluded from assisted reproductive technology (ART). Singles and LGBT couples are embracing this new trend to fulfill their desire for a child. Co-parenting allows them to raise a child together, either as a duo, trio, or quartet, while bypassing the constraints of the law in our country. They can choose to live in the same house or decide to live separately while sharing parental authority. Moreover, this family structure provides a lot of freedom, and the specific characteristics of co-parenting bring additional advantages, as you will discover in this article.
Advantages on the Parent’s Side
Despite altruistic intentions, it must be admitted that the desire for a child contains an element of personal satisfaction. Technically, the child did not ask to be born, regardless of the family typology. Thus, let’s start with the advantages for the parents.
No Discrimination
It has been mentioned that co-parenting allows people excluded from ART to have a child. In France, only married heterosexual couples proving infertility can resort to assisted conception. Although same-sex marriage is legally allowed, LGBT couples face difficulties in having children. Adoption is possible, but the hurdles for homosexuals are not negligible. The validation process can be time-consuming, if granted at all.
Single women are also not allowed access to ART. This practice is permitted in other European countries, but not everyone can afford reproductive tourism. Therefore, single women decide to find a casual sperm donor to have a child, as the commitment of a couple does not suit them either.
Simplified Administrative Process
The procedures for gamete donation can be complicated, if not impossible. The same applies to adoption. A long list of criteria must be met to benefit from these services. Thus, infertile heterosexual couples join those excluded from ART for co-parenting.
Sharing responsibilities regarding the child does not require any administrative paperwork. It is sufficient for the names of the legal parents (often biological parents) to be mentioned on the child’s birth certificate. It is up to the co-parents if they wish to establish a written contract. It is true that having one would be safer to prevent conflicts, especially if social parents are also part of the equation.
Having Biological Children
Adoption is one of many alternatives for having a child. Moreover, it is a way to serve humanity by providing a future for a child who might otherwise have been an orphan for life. Although this option is full of common sense and altruism, some people desire a biological child, and that is entirely understandable.
Motherhood is a unique life experience. It is an adventure to be lived together, with a natural bond that develops over nine months and throughout the baby’s life. Then, parents pass on hereditary traits that are fascinating each time. This is the limit of adoption that co-parenting can address.
Better Organization
Raising a child alone is no easy task. You cannot be in multiple places at once. Between work, errands, household chores, homework, and cuddles, you’ll end up overwhelmed. Despite all the love you have for your child, you are still human. That’s probably why nature plans for both a father and a mother.
If you adopt or conceive alone, you’ll be left with all these responsibilities. Co-parenting offers mutual assistance between parents. You could better organize yourselves, especially if there are four of you. Plus, joint custody gives you some mini-vacations without the child. It’s all about looking at the bright side. You’ll understand the value of solitude when the baby arrives.
Financial Relief
Co-parenting allows for sharing responsibilities, especially on the financial front. Indeed, you must support the child’s education, medical care, and all elements related to their well-being. Having a backup plan if you encounter difficulties in the future is always reassuring. If you are two, or even four, you will be better able to offer a comfortable life to your child and to each of you. Sharing the rent and living under the same roof might be more appealing, but the choice is up to each family.
Co-parenting allows for pre-conception consultations between parents. You can divide expenses according to each person’s ability. It would be more suitable to find a family or an individual with similar income to yours for equality and fairness in sharing the financial burden. This prevents conflicts in the future.
Advantages on the Child’s Side
Co-parenting can be more advantageous than a traditional family in several ways. Contrary to what you might imagine, it can be more beneficial for the child’s psychological stability.
Plenty of Love
The decision for co-parenting is well thought out. Few co-parents embark on the process on a whim. And even if that were the case, the negotiation period is sufficient to change the minds of unserious candidates. Therefore, a child born from co-parenting is a desired child. They will be the center of attention and receive all the love they need.
Unlike accidentally conceived babies, children in co-parenting are eagerly awaited. As such, they will not suffer the frustrations of parents surprised by this sudden intrusion. Also, co-parents plan ahead for the baby’s arrival. Everything is in place to provide the child with the most comfortable life possible.
No Conflicts Between Parents
Love stories are exciting, but they are not without ups and downs. It is not uncommon to experience highs and lows in a couple’s life. Breakups are not to be excluded. The complexity of a romantic relationship can have repercussions on the emotional and psychological stability of the child. The risks of this happening in the platonic relationship of co-parents are very low, if not non-existent.
Although people or couples united by co-parenting may not necessarily live in the same house, the child has grown accustomed to this way of life. Co-parents have made prior mutual agreements for all decisions concerning the child. It is the abrupt change after a divorce that disrupts their psychological state.
Knowledge of Origins
Bioethics laws require the sperm donor to be anonymous during artificial insemination or IVF. The sperm donor acts in complete anonymity. There is no way to escape this rule. The same applies to adoption, although some biological parents allow for traceability. Therefore, the child is unable to trace their origins. This can become confusing during adolescence, when they are searching for their identity.
In co-parenting, the child knows their parents, even if the father chooses to remain just a sperm donor. It is an opportunity for the child to explore their roots. This is very interesting, as a child born from co-parenting can be rich in culture, especially if they have four parents. In most cases, these children are very open-minded.