CO-PARENTHOOD

 

TWO LOVING PARENTS, RATHER THAN TWO PARENTS IN LOVE…

 

CO-PARENTS AND HOMO-PARENTS, FIGHTING THE SAME BATTLE

 

Since marriage equality exists, homosexual couples can project themselves into the future with more serenity, even if it is still complicated. In order to become parents, some people opt for co-parenting: yet they are not the only ones who consider this modern way of conceiving a child.

 

CO-PARENTHOOD, WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?

 

Co-parenting has been around for a number of years now, long before equal marriage. Looking to have children, female or male homosexual couples have taken the step of finding a biological parent. Thanks to the Internet, they had access to many contacts potentially interested in performing a home insemination. With the opening-up of marriage to homosexuals, minds have opened up as well and this approach is more easily accepted, not only on the Internet but also in society. So much so that today, the Coparentalys website is skyrocketing. This new concept of parenthood is changing the lives of many people whose desire to have children is their first priority.

 

CO-PARENTING: WHAT IS IT?

 

Two people choose each other, with the help of ads placed on the Internet or through a face-to-face meeting, in order to become together the parents of a child. Together, they will raise the child and yet, they will not live side by side: each parent will live separately. No relationship, no love between them. However, they will both be present in the child’s life, they will be responsible for him or her and loving towards him or her.

The advantage of this new concept, this new way of being a parent, is that it bypasses painful approaches such as adoption, which excludes the biological parent from the child’s life, and sperm donation, which in France, implies anonymity. Co-parenting is about allowing a child to be born, to grow up with two parents who have chosen to love him or her, rather than to love each other. Lastly, we could establish a connection with divorced parents… Instead of marrying and divorcing, like more than half of married couples, co-parents decide directly to raise a child without forcing themselves into a life as a couple. 2 loving parents, rather than 2 parents who love each other: a resolutely modern concept promoted by the Coparentalys website.

 

WHO IS CONCERNED?

 

One might think that this concept was invented by and for homosexuals. However, the figures show that the majority of them are not the ones who participate in a co-parenting project. Heterosexuals, whether in a couple or single, are also opting for this new concept, which is currently on the rise. These future parents are all looking for the same thing, even if they all have a different profile: becoming a parent, first and foremost. They may be single women, who have favored their careers and who, at 40 years of age, no longer have time to waste when it comes to becoming mothers. They may also be single men who have not found the woman they hoped for to have their children; heterosexual couples who suffer from infertility and do not want their children to grow up without knowing their biological father or mother. There are many different contexts, each one depending on medical, social and financial factors… Because indeed, co-parenting is priceless. It does not impose heavy administrative procedures, waiting times or consultations in medical facilities… After all, becoming a parent is a right, which should be much more accessible, even to people who have difficulty doing so, whether because of infertility, homosexuality, old age, or simply by choice.

 

THE CHILD’S STABILITY AND CO-PARENTING

 

Of course, the question about the stability and well-being of a child born in a co-parenthood arises. How will he or she experience this situation? Living with his or her mother, and only seeing his or her father every now and then, or the other way around. Can this affect his or her psychological stability? In this respect, it is only necessary to consider that many children today grow up with only one of their biological parents, without lacking love, money or consideration. Sometimes they are even relieved to see their parents happier, since they no longer fighting. And then, when they see the other parent, the latter is willing to be available. Co-parenthood proposes something relatively similar to this situation, except that the biological parents have never been married, and therefore have never gotten along so badly that they divorce. They respect and trust each other to the point of entrusting each other with the responsibility of a child. They want to have this child and have carefully thought about it before making a not so obvious decision. We can therefore consider that no, being a co-parent does not necessarily affect the child’s stability.

 

2 LOVING PARENTS

 

An increasing number of people are now looking for each other. On the Coparentalys website, they place ads, describing the profile of the person they hope to find as a co-parent and explain the reasons for their decision. Then they receive answers and interact before they meet each other. The opportunity to confirm or not the feeling that was born on the Internet, to see if in reality too, the two future co-parents are able to get along well enough to conceive a child together.