Currently, more and more people are choosing co-parenting for a variety of reasons. It is a kind of alliance between two individuals who wish to have a child without having to become a couple. The question that arises is: what will happen to their love life? Do they have the right to fall in love? If so, what will happen?
A quick look at the relationship between co-parents
In most cases, people opt for co-parenting because they do not wish to live as a couple. For them, a commitment is a huge responsibility that is difficult to assume. Some people have also had a bad experience. As a result, they are no longer tempted by the idea of starting a family in the traditional way.
This makes co-parenting a better option. The principle of this new family model is quite original. It is about becoming the parents of a child, without having a romantic relationship and without becoming a couple. The contract is therefore limited to sharing the child’s upbringing and care.
At the beginning of the adventure, the co-parents establish the rules together. They work out the way in which they will exercise parental authority and make major decisions concerning the child and his future. The goal with co-parenting is to raise a child together, without conflicts. That’s why there’s no room for feelings in the relationship.
Between co-parents, there is nothing but mutual respect. Of course, there must also be trust and understanding.
Falling in love when you’re a co-parent
Many people who choose co-parenting have experienced a major disappointment in love. Because they fear reliving the same pain, they don’t want to be emotionally involved anymore. But for others, co-parenting is a lifestyle that is chosen for its practicality. This means that they do not really intend to give up on love.
Love, a conceivable option
As Blaise Pascal said, “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing”. The risk of falling in love exists even when one has sworn not to get involved in a relationship again. In fact, each co-parent has the possibility of finding his or her soul mate and there is nothing wrong with that. After all, they are free from any emotional commitment.
In other words, a co-parent has every right to have a fulfilling love life. The only rule is to always put the best interests of the child first, and above all to respect the conditions established at the beginning of the adventure. The co-parents must therefore honor their commitment and assume their responsibility towards the child.
What about marriage? Falling in love is one thing and getting married is another. Can a co-parent consider getting married one day? When love is involved, marriage usually becomes an inevitable outcome and there is nothing wrong with wanting to live your love to the fullest and start a traditional family.
Love between co-parents
In many cases, a romantic relationship between co-parents develops. It is actually obvious, since most people choose the mother or father of their future child according to their own personal criteria. The co-parents thus become a kind of couple who agree on many points and who complement each other. They end up appreciating the moments they share together. Moreover, complicity easily develops between the two individuals. From this closeness, a beautiful love story can arise. There should be no obstacles if the feeling is mutual.
The consequences of being in a relationship during co-parenthood
Is it easy to have a romantic relationship with someone while you’re a co-parent? That’s the first question that comes to mind. Actually, it depends on the situation. The establishment of a new couple within the family may be beneficial for the child. But there is always the risk of it disrupting the child’s life and perhaps even harming the co-parenting arrangement.
If one of the co-parents is in love with another person
This kind of situation could turn a child’s life upside down. The child will have a stepmother or a stepfather and will have to spend time with this new parent or even live with him or her. Two scenarios can then arise. The first: the child develops a strong bond with his father’s or mother’s partner. This can only be a good thing.
The second: the feeling doesn’t flow at all. In this case, the child may end up suffering from the situation. It is also important to note that the child may also end up with half-brothers or half-sisters. If the relationship between siblings doesn’t work out, it will also have a harmful impact on the child.
What about the relationship between co-parents? Normally, the fact that one of them is in a relationship should not be a problem. Moreover, the rules regarding the distribution of parental authority and custody of the child are established from the outset. However, when one of them has no more than the role of being a social parent, problems may arise, especially in cases of conflict. He or she could lose all rights to the child.
If co-parenting turns into a romantic relationship
It’s the best-case scenario. In fact, if the co-parents form a loving and happy couple, it will be beneficial for the child. He will have the chance to live with his parents and grow up in a happy family. After all, switching to a traditional family model is not a bad idea.
That said, it is impossible to rule out the problems that arise from arguments. And living as a couple is never easy. It takes understanding and patience. Knowing how to keep the flame burning is also essential. An argument may be harmful to the child. However, the purpose behind co-parenting is to live harmoniously with your child and to give him or her a peaceful life.
What can be done to avoid any harm?
In order to ensure that the love life of the co-parents does not have any harmful impact on the child’s life and on their relationship, the following measures should be considered.
Establish the rules of the co-parenting relationship
This is crucial especially when one of the co-parents does not have a parent-child relationship with the child. It is important to talk openly and to talk about the rights that each parent has. Certainly, there is still no law that regulates this kind of relationship. Yet co-parenting is a lifestyle chosen by two consenting adults. Therefore, there is no reason why the two partners should not honor their commitment.
Don’t rush into it
According to Plato’s quote, “love is blind”. However, when you have a dependent child, you must keep your eyes wide open and both feet on the ground. We strongly advise against rushing. It is important to be sure about your feelings before you consider living with someone as a couple.
This advice also applies to co-parents who have fallen in love with each other. This does not mean that you should be afraid of love. It only means that you should act carefully and responsibly so as not to shake up the child’s life.
Carefully choose your co-parent
This is another very important point. Becoming a co-parent is not a decision to be taken lightly. Venturing into this area with a stranger is out of the question. If you want to avoid problems in the future, you should choose a partner who has the same perspective as you do, someone who is responsible and serious.
If you haven’t yet found the father or mother of your child, Coparentalys is the perfect dating site for you. You will find a long list of women and men who share your desire to create a family with someone serious and nice. All you have to do is choose the ideal candidate.