Being a co-parent means living a unique family experience. It is important to determine from the beginning of the relationship the way in which the family will be managed. There are several important issues that can be discussed in order to properly manage a co-parenting relationship. Some of the issues that can be difficult include finding the best compromise between going on vacation with or without the other parent.
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is a family model in which the parents do not necessarily share a life as a couple. It also means that they may not live under the same roof. In co-parenting, the number of parents is not limited to two people. A parent raising a child alone can, for example, choose to become a co-parent with a couple (straight or same-sex).
There are many advantages to co-parenting. It should be noted that becoming a co-parent is much simpler than adopting a child. The procedures involved are more flexible. Another advantage is the reduction of child-related expenses since all obligations will be shared between the co-parents.
The child also may find some advantages to living in co-parenting. With 4 parents, he is sure to receive all the attention he will need to reach his full potential. However, it is essential to establish specific rules to prevent chaos from interfering with family life.
Certain essential points such as custody arrangements or the management of child-related expenses (health care, schooling, etc.) must be determined by mutual agreement between the parents. It is also necessary to agree on the right moments when both parents can spend time together with the child.
The same goes when it comes to deciding whether the parents will take turns looking after the child or whether both parents will go on holiday together.
Custody of the child
Child custody during the holidays is an important issue that co-parents need to think about. It can be arranged in different manners, something that can have an impact on the overall management of the co-parenting experience.
For example, it is possible to alternate custody every year during the holidays. This system allows the co-parents to prepare the activities that will take place during the holidays without having to consult each other. It is also an interesting choice for co-parents whose schedules do not always match. The downside is that one of the parents will have to spend the holidays alone.
This can be avoided by ensuring equal time for both parents. The child can, for example, spend the first part of his vacation with one of the co-parents and go to the other co-parent’s house during the second part of the vacation period. The co-parents can also agree on their respective custody schedule. One parent can spend the summer holidays with the child while the other parent will have custody during the winter holidays.
Each parent on their own or together?
The answer to this question depends on how each parent intends to manage the family. There are no bad choices, although going on vacation together can have a positive aspect. Holidays are an opportunity to relax and get closer to your family. It’s also a chance for co-parents to do activities together with their children.
Although spending vacations together is the best choice, it may not always be possible. Each co-parent’s commitments are not the same. One parent may not be available. In such cases, the child will have to spend his vacations with the other co-parent(s). The other co-parent can then do the same during the next holidays.
It is important for the child to see his co-parents side by side as often as possible. This will reduce the feeling of being part of two separate families. On the other hand, co-parents need to be able to agree on the arrangements for their holidays. Organizing the vacations separately can lead to chaos.
Planning your vacation with your co-parent
When it comes to co-parenting, communication is an essential factor for ensuring that family life runs smoothly. The absence of communication can lead to frequent arguments. There may be disagreements between the co-parents about issues such as custody, buying provisions, and so on.
If the co-parents decide to go on holiday together, the first thing they need to agree on is the departure and return dates. They must also agree on the destination. Each co-parent’s preferences may differ, and it will be necessary to find a common ground.
In order to reach a consensus, you may want to ask the child’s opinion. However, it is important to remember that the vacation is not intended exclusively for the child. The co-parents should be able to take advantage of these few days of relaxation to do things they enjoy. There are several possible solutions for this.
The co-parents can leave the child in a kids’ club for two or three half-days. This will give them a little time for themselves that they can use to recharge their batteries. They can also choose to do activities together or have fun separately. The child will then be able to spend some time with them throughout the vacation.
Consider the usual details
Apart from choosing a destination, you will also need to think about budgets for the vacation. When choosing to travel together, the co-parents should agree on who will make the reservations, who will buy the tickets, etc.
Once at the destination, it will be easy for the co-parents to determine how much time the child will spend with whom and what activities are scheduled for the holiday. They can decide who will accompany the child to which attraction, who will cover other expenses such as transportation, etc.
Going away on holiday is not an obligation. The child can also spend some time at home with his co-parents. If the child is already of a certain age, the co-parents can simply leave him free to devote his time to his own activities. In fact, children also need to spend some time alone.
If you have decided to have a family gathering during the holidays, the organization involved is similar. You will have to agree on the place where the party will take place, what will be served for dinner, etc.
Choosing the right co-parent
To develop projects between co-parents you must keep your communication skills strong. The most important thing to ensure smooth communication between co-parents is to have a good affinity with each other. Bad communication can quickly erode the co-parenting relationship over time. For this very reason, it is crucial to choose your co-parents with care.
Finding the right co-parent can be a challenge. Ideally, one parent’s best friends can volunteer to become co-parents. Unfortunately, in many cases, no one close to the parent is really ready to become a co-parent.
If you are experiencing this kind of situation, there is a simple solution. Register on Coparentalys. It is an online matchmaking platform dedicated to people interested in becoming co-parents. You will find different profiles from couples and individuals willing to engage themselves as co-parents. Of course, as on any other matchmaking site, you will need to discuss with other members to find the right co-parents. You will need to ask the essential questions and arrange meetings with the co-parents of your choice.